oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
