You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize