addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize