Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm both gender and math confused
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
