were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
