OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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