I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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