so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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