Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
