Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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