It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
