Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
