Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
