Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize