No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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