It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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