it hurts more in the daytime
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
