What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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