she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
