thus making me awesome and them whores
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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