I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
