yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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