Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i dont even know how to be here
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
