i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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