Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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