"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
