im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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