you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
