i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
