Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
