Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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