I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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