that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
