cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
