Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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