just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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