i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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