she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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