Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
