at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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