I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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