I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
