whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
