yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
