I love having hate sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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