bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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