1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
