My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
