I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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