Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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