I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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