When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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