What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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