He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
