it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
