worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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