"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
