Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
