: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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