going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
