was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
